Frink: Things We’ll Never See on a Major League Baseball Field Again

I knew I shouldn’t have let him out.

A couple of weeks ago, the Baseball Curmudgeon who lives inside my head, Homer K. Frink, shared his thoughts on the upcoming labor unpleasantness involving Major League Baseball players and owners. I thought he’d gotten it out of his system.

I was wrong.

Mr. Frink has been clamoring for another column for some silly list he found on the Internet, so in order to get some sleep at night, I’m going to let him have his say.

Go ahead, Homer.  The column is yours.

Thanks.  You really ought to do something to clean up the area near my house; your mind is a mess.

Anyway, I was puttering around on the Internet between watching ball games and I found a list of twelve things that we will probably never see on a Major League Baseball field again. The list impressed the heck out of me, and I share it with you here in the hope that it does the same thing to you.

1. Rick Wise pitched a no-hitter and hit two home runs himself in the game on June 23, 1971, when his Philadelphia Phillies took on the Cincinnati Reds.

2. On July 3, 1966, Tony Cloninger pitched a complete game for the Atlanta Braves and hit two grand slam home runs against the San Francisco Giants. Even more special, Cloninger missed a third grand slam in the game while batting with the bases loaded and he flied out. If you were wondering, the Braves beat the Giants 17-3.

3. Both starting pitchers going all the way in an extra-inning game. It happened July 2, 1963, when Warren Spahn of the Milwaukee Braves and Juan Marichal of the San Francisco Giants battled it out over 16 innings before the Giants finally won, 1-0, on a home run by Willie Mays. Pitchers today can’t go that kind of distance.

4. For the first time in the modern baseball era, a player recorded seven hits in a nine-inning game.  Rennie Stennett did it September 16, 1975, in a game between the Pittsburgh Pirates and Chicago Cubs.

5. Can you imagine getting a hit for two different teams in two different games on the same day? Joel Youngblood did it, on August 4, 1982. He was playing an afternoon game for the New York Mets against the Chicago Cubs and got a hit in the early innings, then – during the game – he was traded to the Montreal Expos, who were playing that night.  One airplane flight later, Youngblood was used as a pinch hitter for the Expos, who were playing the Philadelphia Phillies. One man, two hits, two teams, two games, two cities, one day.

6. How about a pitcher recording all three outs of an inning on pick-offs at first base? Well, it happened one time, and probably won’t happen again. Tippy Martinez of the Baltimore Orioles racked up all three outs against the Toronto Blue Jays in the 10th inning of a game on August 24, 1983.

7. A record for futility was set by Robby Thompson of the San Francisco Giants on June 27, 1986, when he was caught trying to steal second base four different times. He should’ve known better than to run against a catcher for the Cincinnati Reds.

8. Triple plays are pretty rare.  But two triple plays by the same team in the same game? Once, and once only, on July 17, 1990, when the Minnesota Twins pulled it off against the Boston Red Sox.

9. Earlier I told you about the pitcher who hit two grand slams in one game.  Can you imagine hitting two grand slams in one inning? Fernando Tatis did it for the St. Louis Cardinals in a game against the Los Angeles Dodgers on April 23, 1999. Amazingly, the same pitcher – Chan Ho Park – gave up both grand slams. In that 11-run Cardinal inning, Tatis drove in eight.

10. Maybe not as big and flashy as two grand slams in one inning, but what about getting three hits in the same inning? Johnny Damon did that on June 27, 2003, for the Boston Red Sox against the Florida Marlins.

11.  Back to the grand slams – picture being a switch-hitter and getting a grand slam from each side of the plate in one game. Meet Bill Mueller, who did it for the Red Sox in a July 23, 2003 game against the Texas Rangers.

12. It’s hard enough to reach base in a Major League Baseball game.  But doing so seven times in the same game is even harder – and doing it without getting a hit is almost impossible.  Unless you’re Bryce Harper, who did it on May 8, 2016, in a game between his Washington Nationals and the Chicago Cubs.  Harper was walked six times and hit by a pitch once, so he didn’t even get an official at-bat during the game.

They’ll never happen again.